It's been a week or so since my last blog and man have things changed already. I'm still running, trying to get myself ready for the run in 15 or so days. I'm still enjoying Atlanta and I'm more in love than ever, but some things have changed a bit.
Why is it that it takes something bad or something scary to make you sit back and think "What am I doing?" "Why is it that sometimes I forget that I need to Let Go and Let God?" "Why do I need reminders to be patient, when I am so good at reminding others to do just that?" This weekend allowed me to do some serious soul searching. Something I've tried to do and never really completed. (Yes I know this will never be complete, but instead of getting too far in, I let myself get distracted and ignore the issues).
As most all of you know, I am quick to speak. I can be a bit forward, and tend to tell it like it is. There are very few times that I'm actually intending to be mean to someone (thank goodness for this), but I understand that sometimes I am misinterpreted. While I embrace portions of my "quick tongue" I do not love it all. I do not love that people take things that I say the wrong way, I don't like that I have hurt people by the things I've said, I don't like that often times I say things that some may find shocking or unneccessary. And what most annoying, is it is by no fault but my own. I'm working on myself. I'm allowing God to work through me. I am trying to figure out what made me the way I am, and what I can do to tone it down.
I am impatient. I am quick to talk about things that don't need to be talked about, just so I can know. I like to jump the gun on things. I like to know what is coming and what my life will bring. Oh man oh man, did God put the quick breaks on me. I can just imagine him chuckling to himself saying "Slow down Erin, for I have a plan for you." I've been praying and praying and praying about what his plan is for me. Asking for help in letting myself just let go and live. I know he will provide everything I need. I know he has a plan for me, I know he will guide me and teach me along the way. I have got to let loose of the reins and hand them back to him.
It's funny to me that the second I finally got the message that I am not in control, I get 100 signs that things are ok, things will work out, I am not alone. I've gotten two just today. I was reading some blogs of friends of mine and one posted the lyrics of a song that illustrate perfectly how I've been feeling. (Thanks Jordan for posting this).
I pray that you will "Slow me down, show me around
I wanna see the world that I've been without
I am here and now the future is out of my hands
I trust in you and how you move
I won't forget that patience is a virtue
You're teaching me to hang on tight
Cause I don't know how the story ends
But I'll be alright cause you own it
And I don't know where where the highway bends
But I'm doing just fine
Cause you're in control
Even when I don't know
Where my life's gonna go
You're keeping me guessing.
I also read another friends blog who gave me so much encouragement, because even through her sadness, anger, and unknown future she is holding strong to God. She is trusting him to show her the way and she knows that she has so much ahead of her, even though it may be different that what she originally thought. I am not alone in wondering what is ahead, but now I know that it's ok to wonder, just don't expect and plan on my own.
I am excited for what is to come. I am excited to grow and change and become the woman I am meant to be. Today is a new day, and today is another step in the right direction. Thankfully, I have a great family, supporting boyfriend, and amazing friends who are always there for me and will help me through the journey. (Just wish most of these people didn't live in other states!)
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Friday, April 9, 2010
Susan G Komen Breast Cancer Run
I just signed up to run in the 20th Annual Race for the Cure being held in Atlanta. Now I have some serious work to do. I am not the best runner, so hopefully I will be good to run the entire 5K. That's my goal at least.
I'm glad to be doing this with some people from work. We have joined one of our clients teams. Should be an fun and memorable day for us all.
I'm shocked I havent done a run supporting breast cancer research before considering it is a disease that is a part of my family. I'm running for my grandmother. She fought and beat breast cancer. If she can do that, the least I can do is help to raise money and run the entire 5K.
I'll keep you posted on my progress.
To join our team or contribute to my efforts to raise money for the cause please use the links below.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Easter Weekend
I am trying to stick to at least one blog a week and not go on another 4 month hiatus. Hopefully, I can stick to my plan, I guess we will see.
Last weekend I spent the weekend in Auburn for Easter. The one good thing about Easter (and holidays like it) is that my best friend Amanda comes into town too! I definetely dont see her enough and neither of us have enough time to really visit as much as we would like. A 5 hour drive is something you need to prepare in advance for. Maybe we should meet at home a little more often...
Anyways. I got home around 6 or so and headed our with my Mom to run some errands and have dinner with my sister Sarah. Panera, yum! (Sidenote: At one point or another I refused to eat panera because I didn't like it, I think I was crazy back then). Mom pointed out that Panera now has calorie counts next to their sandwiches and soups to give you a better idea of the calories you are eating. I told my mom I was attempting to get in swimsuit shape (ha) and was being more careful with what I was eating. This specific incident was more of an annoyance to me that a blessing. I mean who wants to know that their favorite thing on the menu is actually A LOT more calories than they thought! Not me, thats for sure. I decided I could cheat this one time and got what I wanted and not what my diet would have liked :)!
After dinner I went and met up with Amanda and her boyfriend (he came with her to Auburn for Easter). What an amazing couple they are. They are precious and I can tell how much he loves her. I've always wanted the best for her and have tried to set her up with sooo many guys that I thought would be good for her (just ask her, I'm sure she will agree). I never could have asked for anything better than her current relationship though. Oh I'm so happy that she is happy! I mean that is all I wanted afterall!
We made it out downtown in Auburn. We are getting a bit old for this scene I think. I officially only knew 1 other person at the bar (which rarely happens). I guess everyone I knew or know is either out of Auburn by now, or arent going to the bars as often. I guess a lot of it had to do with Easter, but I got a bit of this feeling the last time I was in town. Oh well, I guess I have just grown up a bit. Needless to say, we were home pretty early Friday night.
Saturday, I woke up early to go Mother of the Groom dress shopping with my Mom. I cannot believe my brother is getting married in like 9 weeks! 9 weeks!! His fiance has been around our family for years now, so she's already basically part of the family, but now it will be official. I will have a married sibling. Weird, I feel like we were jumping on the trampoline and playing spotlight at night just yesterday. We are growing up too fast!
Easter was great. Lunch was amazing. All the kids (except Daniel) and grand dogs (except Ellie) came over. We ate and laughed and enjoyed begin together. I love spending time with them! I've caught myself in recent years being more consumed with the planning, presents, and materialistic thigs associated with holidays and I'm embarassed by it. While all the little traditional things about Easter (and Christmas) are fun, it's too easy to lose site of the real reason for the celebration. I have got to do a better job of dedicating the day to Christ and not to the visiting bunny.
I hope your Easter was as pleasant as mine and that you all took a moment to remember Christ is Risen!
Last weekend I spent the weekend in Auburn for Easter. The one good thing about Easter (and holidays like it) is that my best friend Amanda comes into town too! I definetely dont see her enough and neither of us have enough time to really visit as much as we would like. A 5 hour drive is something you need to prepare in advance for. Maybe we should meet at home a little more often...
Anyways. I got home around 6 or so and headed our with my Mom to run some errands and have dinner with my sister Sarah. Panera, yum! (Sidenote: At one point or another I refused to eat panera because I didn't like it, I think I was crazy back then). Mom pointed out that Panera now has calorie counts next to their sandwiches and soups to give you a better idea of the calories you are eating. I told my mom I was attempting to get in swimsuit shape (ha) and was being more careful with what I was eating. This specific incident was more of an annoyance to me that a blessing. I mean who wants to know that their favorite thing on the menu is actually A LOT more calories than they thought! Not me, thats for sure. I decided I could cheat this one time and got what I wanted and not what my diet would have liked :)!
After dinner I went and met up with Amanda and her boyfriend (he came with her to Auburn for Easter). What an amazing couple they are. They are precious and I can tell how much he loves her. I've always wanted the best for her and have tried to set her up with sooo many guys that I thought would be good for her (just ask her, I'm sure she will agree). I never could have asked for anything better than her current relationship though. Oh I'm so happy that she is happy! I mean that is all I wanted afterall!
We made it out downtown in Auburn. We are getting a bit old for this scene I think. I officially only knew 1 other person at the bar (which rarely happens). I guess everyone I knew or know is either out of Auburn by now, or arent going to the bars as often. I guess a lot of it had to do with Easter, but I got a bit of this feeling the last time I was in town. Oh well, I guess I have just grown up a bit. Needless to say, we were home pretty early Friday night.
Saturday, I woke up early to go Mother of the Groom dress shopping with my Mom. I cannot believe my brother is getting married in like 9 weeks! 9 weeks!! His fiance has been around our family for years now, so she's already basically part of the family, but now it will be official. I will have a married sibling. Weird, I feel like we were jumping on the trampoline and playing spotlight at night just yesterday. We are growing up too fast!
Easter was great. Lunch was amazing. All the kids (except Daniel) and grand dogs (except Ellie) came over. We ate and laughed and enjoyed begin together. I love spending time with them! I've caught myself in recent years being more consumed with the planning, presents, and materialistic thigs associated with holidays and I'm embarassed by it. While all the little traditional things about Easter (and Christmas) are fun, it's too easy to lose site of the real reason for the celebration. I have got to do a better job of dedicating the day to Christ and not to the visiting bunny.
I hope your Easter was as pleasant as mine and that you all took a moment to remember Christ is Risen!
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