When all I want to be is selfish

I'm learning something about myself. I have been very selfish in my lifetime.

Not a shocking revelation, as most of us have been selfish at one point or another in our lives. As hard as it is to admit it, I'm sure we all have a weak moment or two where we continue to express our selfish nature. I hate it, but I know acknowledging it is a good first step to becoming more self-less. I have wants and I have desires for my life and that's ok. I want to still have dreams for myself, I just don't want those dreams to ever be fulfilled at the expense of another.

I want what is best for the people in my life. Where I find myself being selfish is when those things affect me. For example, my bestfriend moved to Mobile for college a few years after I started Auburn, and I wanted her to stay in Auburn. I wanted to have my friend there, I wanted to be part of her life, and I wanted her to be a part of mine. Of course I lost this battle and she left for school. But now I see why she did. Despite the distance between us, she is still my bestfriend years later. We still talk, maybe not as regularly, but enough to keep a friendship going. She met a great man and is finishing school. She's grown so much, most of which I don't think would have happened unless she got away from Auburn. I'm glad she moved now. If only I had seen that all back then.

I have to remember that just because the people I love may be moving or pursuing a dream or making a change in their lives, it doesn't mean that our relationship will change. People are going to pursue goals and make changes in their lives, and now I'm ready to put their wants and dreams and desires in front of my own.

I want to be self-less and one day I hope to be pretty close to it, but until then, I will struggle, I will cry, I will have to fight with myself and let myself know that it is all for the best. I will get mad and close up, I will be shocked and surprised, I will have loss and gain, but I know that no matter what God has a plan for me and has a plan for them and he will not give me more than I can handle.

I cannot wait to see where I am in 5 years, but even more so I cannot wait to see where those people that mean the most to me will be. I'm so excited for the future and for what is to come.

I'm worn out already and the fun has just begun

First of all, Chicago was amazing! We had so much fun exploring the city and getting to know new friends. We arrived Thursday night and spent most of the night just talking, but we also took a long walk around Lincoln Park where they lived. What a fun part of the town. Full of young professionals and some young families, the Family Matters house was apparently in the this area too! (Fun fact we learned!)

Friday we walked some more, took a walk on Michigan Avenue and saw the set of the Transformers 3 movie. Michigan Avenue was torn up, wrecked cars everywhere, random shoes and clothes from the actors, and enough security to ensure nothing was going to happen. It was really cool to see in person, maybe I'll actually go see this Transformers movie.

We also took an architecture boat tour, I wasn't sure how I would like this, but ended up finding it really interesting. There is so much history in Chicago and the buildings tell an interesting story. We learned a lot and had fun. We had lunch at the Hancock Building that afternoon (The Signature Room to be more exact). That view is amazing. You can see the whole city from up there! The food was ok, but the view was well worth the 90something story elevator ride. Below is a picture I took during the tour.



Jonathan got to go to a Cubs game, but the girls got down there too late so we watched in from a restaurant in Wrigleyville. He had a great time and I'm glad he got the experience. Besides, with all the girls that were there, those boys needed some good quality man time.



The rest of the weekend was spent eating at BYOB restaurants (BEST IDEA EVER), seeing more of the city, and enjoying fun nights out.

Just when I thought I was still tired from that trip my schedule got crammed with new trips (some for fun, some for work) over the next 2 months.

I have to go to New Jersey next week, Virginia the next, then Chicago again with Amanda (still being determined), Auburn for graduation (my brother is graduating!) Then Charleston for work and Columbia for fun. And then we are already into football season sooo I'll be making a trip down to Auburn a few times too!

Auburn's football season starts in 44 days! WAR EAGLE!

Vacation!

Going to Chicago in 2 DAYS!!! So excited! I've heard only great things (minus their horrible winters) about Chicago and I'm so excited to experience it myself and with Jonathan! We always have a great time on our vacations.

In other news, my best friend Amanda called me last night and I may be taking a second trip to Chicago in like 2 weeks. 2 trips to a new city in a two week time, umm yea! Her boss said he would send her and friend, so lets see if that comes about and we actually go! I hope so, I definetely don't see her enough, and it has been years since we went on a trip together. I'm thinking girls trips should be a yearly thing, just got to get her out of school first.

I joined a softball team. Ha, I'm hilariously bad. I can catch fine and throw fine, but hitting is PATHETIC. Definetely need to work on that. Second game is tomorrow. I'll let you know how that goes. I hoping not to strike out...again...

Other than that, life is great. I'll update you all on Chicago, hopefully I will have some good pictures!

Ps... I miss my college buds... reunion weekend needed ASAP. (Hear that Elizabeth?)

4th of July

So the 30 day challenge is going slow and I'm making it more of a maybe 6 month challenge. I'll keep you updated on my first one, whenever I do it. Hey, atleast I already know who im writing most of the 30 day challenges about. I still can't decide if I want to write them on here though, some will be pretty personal, maybe I'll pick a choose :)!

4th of July weekend was amazing. I got some pool time in as well as a day at the lake so I was a happy camper. Lake Martin was packed, as always. We took a boat ride to chimney rock ( a rock I've jumped off several times). This time I climbed it, looked down, and freaked out so I climbed back down. Yea, pathetic I know. Jonathan jumped though so atleast he had his first experience.

My most favorite thing about the 4th are the fireworks though. We were all sitting on the dock talking and made a quick decision to jump on the boat and watch them from on the water. We drove out a little ways and just sat, blaring (I mean BLARING) techno music (hilarious) and enjoying the fireworks. I love love love them. Wish we had made it to a actual show, but the random fireworks being shot off were good too.

After my "day off" yesterday (I was "on call" and there was absolutely no day off for me) I'm back at work and looking forward to my next vacay... IN 9 DAYS!!! Jonathan and I are going to Chicago! We are meeting up with some of his friends from a Europe trip he took a few years back. I'm a little nervous about not knowing anyone... but I'm sure it will be fun. There are quite a few jammed packed days on our itinerary... EEEK so excited! Is it July 15th yet?!?

I hope everyone had a wonderful 4th!