Wedding Bells are Ringing

My cousin is getting married this weekend!




So excited to see my family and spend some much needed time with them.

I am so excited for Natalie and Will! Congratulations on your soon-to-be marriage! I am so happy to be a part of your big day!

My heart is full

This past week, I have had a full heart. A heart that is exploding with the love of those around me. A heart that smiles knowing my future is going to be a good one. What's fun though, is my heart just keeps expanding to let more and more in.


I cannot believe how much of a change I have taken in just one month. Has it really already been a month? I'm back to being 100% myself, 100% independent and 100% (usually) confident (hey, we all have our weak moments.) I credit this to no one other than God. He has worked in me, worked in others to help me, and most importantly guided me in the direction I should be heading. I feel like I was just lost for a little while, wandering around aimlessly, completely ignoring his guidance (he always wins, btw), and pretending I didn't hear him. He has been working in my heart for longer than I knew and because of that I am able to feel so... refreshed (I guess that is a good word for it).

For the record, I do not have regrets. I loved my life a month ago, 6 months ago, 1 year ago, but I am happy to say that it's because of those times that I am able to be where I am now and those times will stay with me forever.

I am so excited to see where I will be a year from now. Will I still be in Atlanta (probably)? Will I have passed the LSAT with a high enough score to get into law school? Will I be prepping to begin school again (thinking about it makes me dread the study hours... positive thoughts Erin.) Will I be in a relationship? (now that would be a shock to me for sure.) Will I have found my niche? Will Taylor and I be master photographers (my friend Taylor is going to take the class with me!). Will I find a place to sing again? Will I still be blogging?

I'm excited about the future, and for the first time in a long time I am not inserting my plan into his and trying to make them coexist.

Accountable

Many of you are friends to me that I trust and really value your opinions so I thought I would ask you all for a little help. I have goals I want to achieve, some small, some big, some life changing, some life bettering. I want you to keep me accountable and make sure I keep a straight path and not just give up.

I just read an article, that really puts life as a 25(ish) year old into perspective. http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/whole-life/features/25956-11-things-to-know-at-25ish If you are a 25(ish) year old, take a look at it, there is a little something in there for us all regardless of where we are in our lives.

So for my goals.

1) Remember about a post or two back I mentioned I have some life changes coming. Well I'm 98% sure I am going back to school. So in October or December I will be taking the LSAT and then will begin applying for schools. When I was younger, I said I always wanted to be a lawyer, and after my brother's graduation from law school, the bug bit me and I can't stop thinking about it. I'm excited to see how this process goes. Of course, my test score will be my final deciding factor, so right now studying for that and doing well is my goal.

2) Take a photography class. I love looking at photography and enjoy seeing what people can make out of a simple picture. I've wanted a nice camera for some time now, so my next big purchase will definitely be that.

3) Get my finances under some serious control. No i'm not in debt again, but I want to make sre I'm not wasting money and I'm never letting myself get on that edge again. I want to save more.

4) I've always been one to love to volunteer (I was president of Working Wildcats in middle school haha), but recently I've been so caught up in life that I haven't had time. I am thinking of doing the big brother big sister program. I still need to research it, considering my travel schedule may not be condusive, but if not that, I will find something.

5) I want to get into better shape. Maybe I should work out more than once a week (or month in some cases). I'm going to try for 3 times a week as a start. Hopefully this works out.

So for now those are 5 goals I am setting for myself. I have high expectations of myself, and hopefully you will keep me accountable. I will need a lot of help (especially on number 5 :))

Boredom leads me to blogging

I am so bored right now. I'm in Arizona, not tired, not hungry, not interested in anything on tv, and bored. So now I blog, to update you on life.

I had the best weekend in Auburn last weekend. I really needed a weekend like this to turn my mood around and jump start me back to the person I am meant to be. I am back, in full force (ish). Scary isnt it :). I am so excited to see where my life is going.

But back to my weekend, my Auburn friends are amazing. To tell you the truth, a lot of the people I cherish so much now, were not great friends of mine in high school. Of course we were all social with eachother, but we never really got to know eachother in a friend way. They can really make me smile and laugh and just enjoy being. I love it.

Parker, the birthday boy had a great birthday party. We all enjoyed eachother and had so much fun. What I didn't realize at the time is that my friend is leaving Auburn until late August. He is going back to training for the Marines. He has already done one tour and missed it so he re-enlisted. He will be deployed next year sometime (I'm not allowed to talk to about it yet, I get too sad). He is such a great friend to me, so I am happy for his new adventure, but I worry about him.

I also enjoyed my time with my dad. He is amazing. It was nice to have the whole family to spend the day with him. I think he enjoyed himself so it was a successful trip. Oh and hopefully his REI giftcard will come in handy.

So Wednesday I was supposed to be going to a concert, NKOTBSB (New Kids on the Block Backstreet Boys) BUT then we looked at ticket prices. $60.00. $60.00 for a band who was popular 15 years ago. Are they serious? They are old now, not the young dancing hotties they used to be. No boys, keep your concert, I'll just jam out to your cd instead and look at pictures of you in your younger day.

Life is good. Unexpected changes in life can really be a blessing. Hearts mend, slowly but surely. I still am not sure what will happen as far as my love life is concerned, but right now, I'm not going to worry about it.

A weekend of celebration

For those of you who are wondering, I'm still alive and kicking. Still sad somedays, but each day gets a little easier. I am so blessed by some many other things in my life, that I know things can only improve. It helps that I have friends and family who will help me through that process too. Taking everything day by day.

This weekend, I am excited to have some fun things to celebrate! My best guy friend, who I've known since highschool is having a birthday celebration on Saturday night. I am so excited to celebrate with him and be around people who always always make me smile. It should be a fun evening. Apparently it has turned into a theme party, but I will not be dressing up in boots, so I hope he doesnt mind :)!

In addition to that, I get to celebrate my Dad! He is such a great father so I'm excited to celebrate him for a whole weekend (although I definitely need to do this much more than just one weekend). The whole family is going to be in town this weekend so for the first time in a while, we will all be able to enjoy some time together. Daniel's coming in from B'ham tomorrow morning, Meegan (sis-in-law) comes in tonight, Sarah and I both are coming in from ATL tonight, and Caleb will be coming over on Sunday. Should be entertaining. If you have ever been with my entire family, you know it is always a fun experience.

In other news....

I'm in the process of making some life changes (nothing too major, just a different direction). I will definitely keep you all updated once I finally decide what I am going to do, but I can say I am really excited to see what is to come of my future. I'm happy to be finding myself again.

Changes

Well, quite a few things have happened since my last blog. Some good, some shocking, some sad, some I'm still coping with.

I am currently in Washington state traveling for work. While I am very busy, I am finding this a nice break from the reality of my life in Atlanta. When I return, I know things will be so different. I am returning to Atlanta for the first time in 2 years, with no man to go home to. I am now a single woman.

It's been a hard couple of days, I've definitely had bad days and days that I feel a little better. I've had days where I was numb, and days where I can't stop crying. I've smiled at past memories and yearned to go back to a few weeks ago. I'm hurting, I'm learning, I'm coping, I'm leaning on God.

Usually I would be the person who would want to surround myself with people to keep my mind off of things. But this time, it's been different. I want to be alone. I want to have some time to think for myself and just be. I want to not feel bad for having a breakdown, I want to be able to smile and not have people think that I'm all of a sudden ok.

Yes I am surviving, and yes every day passes and I realize that I made it and I'm getting a little bit stronger (I bet that country song just popped in your head). But I'm still broken. My heart still yearns to love and continue a relationship.

I know this is good for me right now, this is good for him right now, and most of all this is good for us right now. I dont know where my story goes from here, and I dont know if he will ever be a part of it again, but each day I go along working on myself and not worrying about what is to come.

There is a plan for my life, I just wish I could skip over this whole heartbroken phase. Life is hard and these experiences are a part of it. Just keep me in your prayers as I continue to grow and learn, pray that I keep my sights on God and that each day I feel a little less pain and a lot more love from those who are around me.