Changes

Well, quite a few things have happened since my last blog. Some good, some shocking, some sad, some I'm still coping with.

I am currently in Washington state traveling for work. While I am very busy, I am finding this a nice break from the reality of my life in Atlanta. When I return, I know things will be so different. I am returning to Atlanta for the first time in 2 years, with no man to go home to. I am now a single woman.

It's been a hard couple of days, I've definitely had bad days and days that I feel a little better. I've had days where I was numb, and days where I can't stop crying. I've smiled at past memories and yearned to go back to a few weeks ago. I'm hurting, I'm learning, I'm coping, I'm leaning on God.

Usually I would be the person who would want to surround myself with people to keep my mind off of things. But this time, it's been different. I want to be alone. I want to have some time to think for myself and just be. I want to not feel bad for having a breakdown, I want to be able to smile and not have people think that I'm all of a sudden ok.

Yes I am surviving, and yes every day passes and I realize that I made it and I'm getting a little bit stronger (I bet that country song just popped in your head). But I'm still broken. My heart still yearns to love and continue a relationship.

I know this is good for me right now, this is good for him right now, and most of all this is good for us right now. I dont know where my story goes from here, and I dont know if he will ever be a part of it again, but each day I go along working on myself and not worrying about what is to come.

There is a plan for my life, I just wish I could skip over this whole heartbroken phase. Life is hard and these experiences are a part of it. Just keep me in your prayers as I continue to grow and learn, pray that I keep my sights on God and that each day I feel a little less pain and a lot more love from those who are around me.